question 4

"Add to that the
negative
emotions
that are evoked in
a partner—impa-
tience, judgment,
coldness, scorn—"


What if a nice
person working
toward recovery
is NOT met with
these emotions
from a partner?
Would the nice
person then work
to elicit these
emotions from a
(new) partner?
Or would the nice
person perhaps
express these
very same
emotions toward
the partner even?
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James:
Nice People tend to expect rejection and bad treatment, particularly in their most intimate relationships. When they get close to someone who treats them with respect and compassion, they will often do things to provoke the negative reactions they expect. Some Nice People are so committed to this that they will accept nothing short of being kicked around on a frequent basis by their lovers, friends, and co-workers. Transforming your life includes becoming aware of the ways in which you tend to recruit others to disrespect, dismiss, and abandon you. Our quality of life grows exponentially as we require that those closest to us be kind and loving.
     

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