IMAGINE A CONDITION THAT AFFECTS a huge portion of the population, a condition that causes severe anxiety and depression, cripples self-esteem, and undermines and destroys relationships. The condition described here is not drug addiction, schizophrenia, or a career in politics. It is chronic niceness.
Anxious to Please: 7 Revolutionary Practices for the Chronically Nice is the first book to reveal the primary psychological cause of chronic niceness—anxious attachment. Attachment theory is a burgeoning branch of psychology that is revolutionizing our understanding of human emotions and relationships.
Anxious attachment drives the Nice Person to accommodate, acquiesce, and avoid conflict, leading to a host of emotional and relational problems. Inwardly, the Nice Person is burdened with a constant sense of longing for someone or something that they cannot define. They are preoccupied with what other people think, and they worry and fret so often that it seems normal to them. Outwardly, Nice People habitually take what they are given rather than asking for what they want, often sacrificing important elements of career, relationship, and their own integrity.
Anxious to Please unveils seven powerful practices—a synthesis of personal and clinical experience, psychological theory, Buddhism, and gender studies. These seven practices are designed to heal the chronically nice person, transforming a life of anxiety into one that brims with self-confidence, serenity, and passion. Relationships with friends, family, co-workers, and romantic partners, which have grown divisive or stale, become remarkably purposeful and heartfelt.
Former Nice Guys James Rapson (psychotherapist and teacher) and Craig English (author and workshop leader) employ a writing style that is straightforward, compassionate, and spiked with irreverent humor. They draw on their personal experiences and professional expertise to guide readers from chronic niceness to passionate living.